This Can't Be The Harry Potter!
by DragonShifter
Summary: The Dursleys are not who they seem. They take in Harry and love him. They arrange with the Goblins to be Harry's magical guardians in secret and for the goblins to teach Harry all he needs to know about the magical world. This is an AU.
1. Chapter 1

Petunia woke to a ringing doorbell and her son crying. Next to her Vernon started. "What is going on?" He asked in a tired voice. "I don't know dear, but I am going to see who is at the door. Can you check on Dudley please?" Vernon nodded, reaching for his robe. "Leave it." Petunia said as she finished putting her own robe on. She glanced at her nightstand, noting that it was midnight "Yes dear." Was the tired response. Petunia went downstairs cautiously, not sure what to expect. When she peeked through the spy-hole, she saw a frantic looking Remus Lupin. She quickly opened the door letting in the distraught wolf in.

"Remus, what is the matter? Are you okay? Is my sister and her family okay" She asked as she guided the frantic man to the living room. Vernon came down with Dudley a minute later. "Remus, are you okay?" He asked sitting down, passing his son to his wife. Lupin shook his head, trying to calm down. He breathed deeply and replied. "Lily and James were attacked and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't even go check on Harry before Sirius got there with Hagrid on his heels. Given that Lily doesn't like me and James had to keep his distance to keep the peace, I don't know what is going on, nor am I sure why they were attacked unless it was part of that blasted plan Dumbledore made. I know that technically Sirius wasn't supposed to be there, but I suppose he could care less about the plan. He never did." Bitterness laced the scared man's voiced. The Dursleys frowned, looking at each other. From what little James was able to pass on through the goblins and his personal house elf, he had been taking steps to prevent Dumbledore and those loyal to him from entering his property with a couple of exceptions. He also mentioned that he thought this whole Voldemort attacking him and Lily was absurd and probably some plot Dumbledore sore came up with.

" That is odd. Neither should be allowed there. But knowing Dumbledore and knowing James, James had to let there be some loopholes in his wards. That is about the extent of our knowledge." Vernon said. "I think since Dumbledore's people were there, it is safe to say that we may be seeing Harry soon." Petunia stated as she stood. "Dudley just fell back asleep. I need to go put him back in his bed, then I will be back down." Lupin nodded as she left to go upstairs. "That meddlesome fool, going after that family just because James wouldn't give into his plans for the world." The worn wolf growled. "Blast Lily for making it difficult for Him to completely back out and leave well enough alone." His fist slammed down on his leg. Vernon jumped slightly at that, knowing that the wolf wasn't far from the surface. Remus was always more volatile around the full moon and Vernon had measures in place to handle Moony, Remus's wolf. The large man spoke up in a gentle voice "Look, it is late. The full moon has just passed, leaving you in a very vulnerable position. You should go home since we know that that old fool is likely to leave Harry with us. Once Harry is here, we will let you know when he gets here okay?" At that moment Petunia came back down. "Or once Harry gets left here, We can send a message through one of the goblins for Remus to meet us at the bank to make arrangements for Harry."

"That sounds like a plan." Lupin said slowly getting up. Gods he felt worn out. Knowing that Dumbledore most likely had a plan for Harry that involved him being hurt, made both Moony and Lupin want to rip the old foolish goat to shreds. "Before you go let me get you some food. You look like you need it." Petunia said going into the kitchen. She grabbed some leftovers, giving them to the tired wolf. With thanks, he gave her a hug and left. The next day saw the whole of the wizarding world celebrating without a care as to breaking the statute of secrecy. Vernon managed to hear what exactly was being said so he and his wife would be prepared for the years ahead. That night Harry was left on their door step, with a letter asking that the Dursleys take care of Harry. Reading between the lines, they knew that Dumbledore wanted Harry to be neglected.

A few days later found The Dursleys at Gringots with Remus Lupin. It did not take long for them to be taken back to the Potter manager. The goblins had heard what had happened at Godric hollow and went to check it out as discreetly as they could. When they couldn't find Harry they grew concerned, knowing that the so called leader of the light had plans to control their world in the above. They were relieved to here that Vernon had the boy in his custody and wanted to meet up with them. They made sure to set up an appointment at a time that wouldn't draw the attention of Dumbledore, since the bloody wizard was trying to meddle again in bank affairs. After doing an Inheritance test making sure that Harry was Harry, and hearing the full story from the wolf and Dursley's why the Potter heir was in their custody, they spent two hours going over the Potter affairs and trying to figure out a fit magical guardian for Harry.

After some debate, the goblins suggested that his aunt be the ones to be the magical guardians of Harry. Their reasoning was since Dumbledore had left Harry out in the November cold, and he appeared to have an undisclosed plan for Harry, it was not safe to have Dumbledore or anyone connected to him be Harry's guardian. Since Vernon was the cousin of their king and half-troll, and Petunia was descended from Merlin himself, druids, and Scandinavian witches, The goblins had the Dursleys do a blood adoption. Know one knew that Petunia was adopted besides the goblins. The Evans had adopted her out of respect to her dying parents. The Evans were descended from a long line of squibs, and were close to the thin woman's true family, so that hid Petunia's true parentage. This didn't stop her from going to a small school in the neighborhood that combined muggle and magical classes. Due her jealousy of Lily having stronger magic than herself, and being allowed to go to Hogwarts, Petunia had not been nice to Lily growing up, but had grown out it by the time she had reached adulthood. By that time, it was too late to build any relationship with Lily.

James Potter had picked up on Petunia's magic though, when Lily had invited him over during Christmas break in her seventh year at Hogwarts. It didn't take long for the two to become quick friends, to Lily's consternation. He kept Petunia up to date on the goings on in His and Lily's lives on the sly and Getting Lily to calm her animosity towards her older sister, which took the better part of a year to do. He had asked Petunia to look after Remus from time to time as well when the wolf's parents died. He knew that Lily did not like the wolf, so could not help the poor man as much as he would have liked. It was why when Petunia, could, she would take food to the man and helped him with anything she could.

Once guardianship was established and a place for Harry to live, the Durley's asked if the Goblins could help teach Harry all that they could of magic and the world it belonged to. That included the world above and below. After some deliberation and some translating on Vernon's part, the small creatures agreed. After establishing when the Potter Heir's education was to start and when the goblins could send out warders to the Dursleys home, The Dursleys and Lupin left to get things set up for Harry.


	2. Chapter 2

**_ *Five Years Later*_**

" Harry James, get your butt back here now." Called Remus causing his other charge to giggle uncontrollably next to him. " That's enough from you Mr. Dursley." He scolded the boy next to him, giving Dudley a stern look before discreetly pulling out his wand. He was escorting Harry and Dudley to the underground for their lesson below. Looking around to see if anyone was around And finding no one, he summoned his unruly charge. Harry yelped at the sudden change of direction when the spell took a hold of him. " So help me you two are going to be the death of me." Was all Lupin said as he set Harry down. He looked Harry over then took the boys right hand in his, then started walking to the park that had the the apparition point to the underground. Two years prior the boys had started lessons with the goblins on the magical world. Lupin also taught them every so often, with some help during the summers from Minerva Mcgonagall. Due to how well she knew Dumbledore, she made it a fact to check in on Harry a few months after that fateful Halloween five years prior. She had waited as long as she did so the so called leader of the light would not get suspicious. She also kept in touch through Lupin and her own personal house elf.

After they Dursley's adopted Harry, they had made sure that he had a room of his own and that both Dudley and Harry got on well. It would have been bad had they not got on since Petunia had her hands full contacting all their aboveground and underground allies and the allies of the potter family not associated with Dumbledore or those were neutral. Due to Harry being an Heir to not only the noble house of Potter, but to houses Black, Peverall, Slytheryin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and La Fay, he did have some rights and house elves. He was also in line for the Emrys after Dudley. This caused Harry to have clout in wizarding government, and Harry none the wiser.

Some of the allies included Tom Riddle, Lucius and Narcissa Malloy, The Longbottoms, and the Bones amongst other families. Tom and Longbottoms were the reason Remus could be out and about with the boys. The three wizards made their through Little Whinging to the small park on the outskirts of town to the small gate to the underground. When they arrived they found that Riddle was waiting in his animagus form of a large abyssinian cat for them. Remus spotted him quickly after entering the park. He was sitting at the base of the arch that led to the wooded part of the park. He bowed his head in acknowledgment, Tom transformed back into his human self.

"Remus, boys." He spoke, bowing his head in return. " Uncle Tom, you're here." Harry and Dudley shouted running to him. The older man opened his arms and knelt as the boys collided with him. " of course I am here. Why wouldn't I be?" The rumored dark lord laughed gently. He adored the two boys in front of him, for they never believed what was said about him, and they always treated him with love and respect. They also loved the history lessons and stories he shared too. " I wanted to see how you guys were doing in your classes with the goblins and Fae below." Was all the man needed to say before the young boys started talk over one another trying to tell him all about their classes. He smiled and gave Lupin a look that said _we need to talk. _ The wolf nodded, speaking loudly over the two boys. "You chose a good day to come. They are primarily reviewing today, so Jareth can speak to you about their progress." Tom smiled, listening to Harry and Dudley chatter on as they walked through wooded park to the gate to below.

Once they arrived at the world gate, the two men took the hand of one of the boys, then stepping through the gate. As always, going through was a jarring sensation, but once through the boys ran off towards the room they used for indoor classes. The two wizards smiled and shook their heads as they started to walk to the throne room.


	3. Chapter 3

"There you are you are," Jareth said as Remus and Tom walked through the doors. I was getting a little concerned that you guys had been delayed. It's nice to see that you came to today Tom. It's been a while." The goblin monarch voiced as he stood to greet the two men. " It has your majesty." Responded to the leader of the dark. His head was bowed out respect for the man who had saved him as a child from the orphanage at the tender age of 13. The fae royal had to step in because Tom's wish to be safe was so strong that he was summoned. The matrons had been so unkind to the boy teenager that he felt truly scared and unsafe. Luckily the matrons had a healthy respect for the fair folk and backed off the poor boy after that.

" As you know, I am one of young Harry's protectors above, and I wanted to see where he and young Dudley were in their studies. I also have news concerning Dumbledore and his plans." Jareth frowned when Dumbledore was brought up. He did not like the man who claimed that he was so good and mighty. Unfortunately, he couldn't do anything to the full of himself old fart until his people above had evidence of the old fools meddling. " The boys are doing well. They both are currently studying what you humans would call animagus transformation, and they have started to learn to care for mounts. They both are doing well with learning magic. Dudley seems to do better with offensive magic, while Harry has a tremendous capacity for defensive magic. They are also studying creature inheritance. Harry seems to need to learn by doing, and his cousin by seeing and copying. It's hard to say where they are with their independent studies since they take them up with so many different teachers throughout my labyrinth. I am sure you understand that they are still young and need variety and play to help them learn. "

Riddle nodded as he sat upon a transfigured chair. He was glad the boys were doing well in their studies, but he worried about what he was about to reveal to the two men with him. " That is wonderful. However, I worry because what I am about to tell you." He paused, swallowing before continuing. " Snape has been fully converted to Dumbledore's side. So I can't use him anymore for spying, and The old fool has fired Sprout and Filius for what he feels is unfaithfulness to what he calls the greater good." At this revelation, The worn werewolf gasped in pain. Severus had been his one time love, and Filius and Sprout had taken him in when his parents had died. They were his surrogate parents and made sure his wolf was happy and healthy.

"That's not all, He has gotten rid of Warding, magical lore, creature inheritance, dueling, languages, and all the basic classes that were up until now required for muggle-borns, half-bloods, and those raised in the muggle world to take upon the first year to help them acclimate to our world. Lucius has also been telling me that Dumbledore has been pressing for more anti creature laws, tighter banking laws, laws involving eugenics, and laws revolving around orphans. Rumor has it that he is going to move the Weasly's and a few other lights oriented families to Little Whinging amongst other things."

This news caused Lupin to start to growl, and Jareth's magic to start to crackle. "That old fool is going to kill off magic in Britain." The scarred wolf growled, eyes going golden, with nails lengthening, signaling his wolf was becoming more prominent. He began to pace as he tried to figure out what to do. "This can't be allowed to happen." Jareth spoke through clenched jaws. " it would seem that I need to come above to check out the state of magic in magical Britain." He stood, forming a crystal. The raised it to his mouth and blew on it. It floated out of the room, down the hall and out of sight. " it is time for The potter proxy to use Harry's votes to counteract any bad laws, and for his goblins to reach out to Madam Bones for an official investigation. Things were about to start to change in Magical Britain.

A Few Days Later*

Harry was at the park with Dudley when he saw silvery movement out of the corner of his eye. Standing as he brushed the dirt from his jeans. He looked for silver, eyes wandering around the playground. Seeing Patronus silver He wandered over to the edge of the playground calling his brother over. A medium-sized snake Patronus slithered up to him and coiled up. "Dumbledore has made his move. Make sure you and your brother are ready to enact the plan when you come home," it said before disappearing.

Dudley came over a few minutes later brushing dirt off his shirt. Petunia was a neat parental figure and preferred Harry and Dudley not to track dirt in her clean house. "What's up, bro?" He asked as he sat down. "We just got a Patronus from Tom. He said it's time to act our plan." Dudley frowned. "Did it have to come so soon?" he said dejectedly. Harry sighed, knowing what was behind his cousin's question.

"Yes. I am not looking forward to being bullied by my family either." The dark-haired boy said in response to the slightly larger boy. He was worried that this whole mess would backfire. From what he and his brother could understand, Albus Dumbledore had wanted Harry for something and had done their best to learn all there was to know. Luckily the subject matter wasn't so bad and was fun to learn. Harry loved it when he could go off with the wise man of the labyrinth to learn about its history and its magic, while Dudley was taught by Zacchaeus, The head guard of the castle militia. He and his brother were also lucky that he had Sarah Williams there. She was the friend of the goblins and Labyrinth champion. She was learning magic along with them but knew everything about the underground and the people that lived there. She was able to give the brothers a unique outlook on the underground Peoples and their own people and creatures above.

"Whelp, lets tell the gang what's up." Dudley said getting up and offering a hand to his cousin to help him up. They walked to their group of friends who were a mix of muggles with magical family, squibs, and with magical abilities.or. There were even some kids of mixed creature and human inheritance. Some had Fae, vampire, were- wolf, Dragon, and changelings, amongst other creatures. These kids had grown up knowing who Harry was and didn't care. They were the most loyal bunch of kids Harry and Dudley could ask for. "Hey guys, Its time for our not so fun plan to start." Both boys said in unison. "Aw... so soon?" Piers asked, standing to attention at the leaders of their motley bunch of hooligans, unaware that Dudley had asked the same question. He looked between the two boys then at Kaida. The dark haired, blue eyed boy was scowling. Piers thought he knew why. The plan did involve Harry making friends with someone else. "Unfortunately. I just go the Patronus saying it was time." was all Harry needed to say for his friends to groan. "You guys know what to do and what to say when the time comes right?" Harry responded.

Everyone nodded. They got to work making Harry look roughed up, then had him run a couple of laps around the park so he would be a little out of breath. After that Harry ran out of the park with Dudley and their friends chasing after him. A few minutes later Harry arrived on privete drive out of breath, looking distraught. He saw a moving van with red heads moving to and from the truck into number 2 . Quickly glancing at number 4, He saw Professor Mcgonagall in the window. Knowing the old witch wanted to see how their carefully laid out plan went. Minerva did not like how Dumbledore wanted to manipulate everyone. He ran up to number 2 pretending to huff and puff.

" Excuse me" he said to who he assumed was the mother. She was directing the rest on where to put things. When he had ran up to her she looked down at him and smiled. "yes dear?" she replied. " I am being chased by my cousin. I was wondering if I could hide in your house till this evening?" he asked acting nervous. He even threw a few glances around as if he was looking to hide from someone or some persons. The woman put on a concerned face, ushering Harry inside telling her boys to make sure Harry was taken care of. Sharing a glance with her husband who had just come the house, she grabbed a box of yarn and needles heading inside.

It did not take long for Harry to endear himself to the red headed clan, which he found out were named Weasley. He found out that there were 6 children in the family and the two parents, and poor. They were surrounded by magic, that much he could tell by using his inner Tiger's sight. He had mastered that trick some months before thanks to Jareth. Harry wished that he could transform into his spirit animal, but knew he did not have the strength or the magic for it yet. He could not wait till he was eleven so he could go through the fae rights that would make him a worthy potential warrior and to show up the wizarding world. After spending a few hours with the Weasleys, Harry said his good byes and headed home.

Walking into number four was like entering the territory of a chimpanzee troop. As soon as Harry was in the door, he was bombarded with questions from his family, Mcgonagall, Tom, Lupin, and Jareth. Sarah, was the only person besides Harry who remained quiet while everyone spoke. She stood and made a high whistling sound with her fingers and lips. "Everyone shut your gobs. Let poor Harry have a minute to gather himself. He has just come from what seems to be a very loud and rude family, and hasn't had time to compose himself as of yet." the young brunette spoke calmly. "Did you happen to have tea at the Weasly's?" she asked Harry who had just finished taking off his shoes. "Yes I did. It was a small tea though given that they still moving in. Auntie, is supper almost ready?"

Petunia nodded, going back to the kitchen, while Harry took a seat on the couch. She had been called into her parlor by her son when Harry had come out of number two. Sarah followed her into the kitchen, asking if she could help in anyway finish dinner. The older woman had the teen prepare the salad while she took out the lasagna out of the oven. They worked in companionable silence to get every thing put together. Petunia enlarged the table to fit her family and all of their guests. Sarah set the table, finishing by slowly levitating the lasagna and salad to the table. Petunia smiled at this, seeing the young woman concentrating on the food as she set it down. Sarah was a descendant of the The druids and wise women of Norway and Britain with hints of being a were being.

Once all of the food was on the table and the places had been set, Petunia called everyone into the dining of room to eat. Over the course of dinner, everyone wanted to know what happened at number two. Harry, starting rather angerly at his lasagna said that the weaslys were idiots. " they were fine enough to begin with" He started after finishing a bite of food. "asking me general questions about the neighborhood. They began to ask personal questions though and acted like I was some poor waif and needed to be taken in by them." at that statement, the green eyed boy nearly broke his water glass when he set it down roughly on the table. "Harry James" Vernon started. Harry looked at his father. " what" was all he said. Vernon had to close his eyes and breathe slowly. He loved Harry, and he knew the boy hated to lie. This whole bloody situation they were in was a mess.

" If you can't get a hold on that temper of yours, you can go to your room." Was all the older Dursley needed to say. Harry straightened, then nodded in acknowledgment. He quickly finished his food. He excused himself from the table, leaving the group to ponder on what just happened. Jareth cleared his throat bring everyone's attention to him. "Obviously there are going to be some difficulties from here on out. Perhaps we should re-evaluate how we approach the Weasley's"

"Agreed." McGonagall and Tom said in unison. They looked at each other with quiet agreement. Harry would need all the help he could get. Soon everyone was done eating, making plans for future visits. Sarah relayed the message of good luck from her parents in their endeavors in sabotaging Dumbledore and that they would help in any way they could. Petunia thanked the girl for being the go between for them and said that they would schedule a visit soon. Jareth took Sarah arm and disappeared. Once everyone had left, Vernon sighed. He knew he would have to go up to talk to Harry about his behaviour . Quietly he went up the stairs passing Dudley on his way to Harry's room.

He knocked on Harry's door. A muffled come in had Vernon opening the door. " Harry, son. Do you know why I've come up to your room?" Harry buried himself further under his blankets. "My Behaviour at dinner." The dark haired boy responded quietly. "Correct." The older man replied as he sat on the edge of his son's bed. " I know you don't like having to act like we have hurt you and act against your nature. That does not give you the right to act up with your family however. You keep up with the attitude and you will be staying with Marge come our yearly end of summer visit to America do you here me?" Harry stuck his head out from under the blankets and nodded. He hated to stay behind with Marge, not that he didn't love the woman, but he loved going to America. " Da, I don't want to be left behind. But I also really don't want to be friends with that dreadful family."

" I know lad. But you know you need to appear to be friends with them. Lord Jareth figures we should tweak the plan a bit. But that can be done A little at a time As we learn more about the Weaslys and Dumbledore's plan for you." Harry smiled a small smile then turned away from his father signaling he was done talking. "Good night Da. See you in the morning." The boy said, yawning. "Goodnight Harry." Vernon said, getting up. He exited his sons room, leaving it open a crack. He wondered into Dudley's room to bid him goodnight, then to his own room. Soon, he was in bed next to his wife drifting off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

3 year later

"Seriously mate, how can you stand living with those people?" Ron asked Harry for the fiftieth time that day. "I just can. They aren't so bad when I do what they ask me to." Was Harry's response to the red head. He was doing his best to try to pretend to do some homework from the supposed muggle school. He had learned that Ron's father was obsessed with muggles and everything to do with them so he couldn't ask to do his so called homework at the Weasely's house anymore. They still thought that Harry's family were pure muggle, even when Harry's younger cousin was born and started to show signs of magic.

Ron groaned when Harry put away the book he had been reading, which had been about how the magic folk being banished below and pulled out paper. "Come on Harry, you have been doing schoolwork forever. Are you ever going to be done?" Harry looked at the boy next to him with a serious face. "Ron, I let you come with me to the local library so you wouldn't be trying to knock on my family's door again. I take school very seriously when the Dursley's let me have some free time, which is not often. Go home if you are going to complain."

Ron leaned back in surprise. Harry had never spoken to him like that before, and was not sure what to make of it. He raised his hands in defense and kept his mouth shut for the rest of the time they were at the library. The youngest Weasely was none the wiser at what Harry was actually doing. The dark haired boy was writing down in dwarfish notes on what he had just read and reminders to look up the other books and sources mentioned in his book, and to compare what he read at Hogwarts in little over two years' time to see how badly the magic folks above had forgotten and deteriorated from the folks below.

Luckily Harry's actually school was a magical school that mixed wizard, muggle, and underground courses. Dumbledore would be quite surprised to find Harry not what he expected, nor his cousins on both sides of his family. He would also be quite surprised at where Harry would be academically, given he never had thought to check on Harry himself, and instead relied on the people who blindly followed him to keep him up to date.

In the last three years, He had moved in the Weasely family, Arabella Fig, The Diggles, and many more within a 15 kilometer radius of Harry making sure that Harry was surrounded and watched. Tom made sure he had just as many followers surrounding Harry with some help from Jareth and Sarah. Serendipity, the Goblin Kings Ward, was even placed in Harry's school to help keep an eye on things. It amused her to no end to show up unexpectedly at the park or library with Kaida in the middle of Ron bombarding Harry with questions about school and life in general. A year and a half after Harry's staged meeting with the Weaslys, a muggleborn by the name of Hermione Granger had been moved into the neighborhood by her parents. She quickly got on everyone's nerves, causing Harry to break down one day.

He had been at the park with Ron, when the girl had walked up to the picnic table they had been sitting at."Granger, leave us alone. We could care less about Elephants and their ecosystem. Not domwe want to hear any other useless facts you have for us today." The green-eyed boy snapped at the bushy haired girl. She had plopped her bag down on top of the notebook he had been writing in. Ron had been stuffing his mouth full of the snacks his mum had packed for him and Harry when she walked up. The buck toothed girl had just started to yammer at them a few minutes earlier. "yeah, " came Rons agreement, a few chewed up chunks of food came out of his mouth. " I don't know what elly-phants are, but I am pretty sure that Harry and I don't need a lecture on them from a know it all like you." the red head finished saying as he grabbed another sandwhich from the basket of food.

"But, you guys are the only ones who listen to me." the bushy haired girl replied. "No, " Harry cut in. "we are the ones forced to listen to you because Everyone runs and hides when they see you coming. The only reason that my friend and I are here is because If I go home during my only free time during the day I have, my Family will give me a long list of chores to do. My friend has a rather large Family that is rather noisy and he needs space from time to time. So you see, if we go when you come to the park, we have don't really have a choice but to go home to our families, which we would rather not do. Now, can you please remove your bag from the table and my notebook. You very rudely put your bag on my notebook before I could move it." he spoke coldly pulling at the notebook under the bag. He could see the books the foolish girl had stuffed into her bag threatening to rip through the bag. "By the way, if you keep all those books in your book bag, it will end up ripping." Hermione huffed as she pulled her bag off the table, causing it to rip.

The dark haired boy got up from the table, putting his notebook in his bag. " I am going home now. I hope you find someone who will listen to you. Have a good day Ron." Harry walked away, missing the look Ron and Hermione shared. He headed out of the park, making it look like he was heading home. A few blocks later, Harry turned down a small side alley and knocked on the small gate halfway down the alley. It opened showing a goblin child looking out him. "May I come through?" the young boy asked. The goblin nodded and stepped aside.


End file.
